I realize now that prior to starting treatment, I imagined I would suffer nobly and silently through, a la Beth in Little Women, or the mom in One True Thing (The books not the movies, and minus the dying part. Preferably). Or like the many people I have met who are repeat treaters and are cheerfully going for it again, or my friends who cannot treat and can’t bear to be caught whining.  I would NEVER be a burden on my family and friends, not I! I would go through chemo with a wistful smile on my lips and a gentle look in my eye, spouting wise statements about the meaning of life.

Reality check: I handle treatment about as well as Roseanne Barr handled the national anthem. I really just want to walk around with my middle fingers up, screaming “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?” as I pile my grocery cart full of doughnuts. Oh well. You live, you learn.