Made the trip home and back. Thank goodness for Amtrak. Granddad was awake when I was there and actually had a pretty good day. He is so pale and drawn, and is talking in whispers only. We still had a pretty long conversation, and he even ate a piece of pie while I was there (apparently radiation and chemo has left his raging sweet tooth unaffected, which is oddly comforting). When he wasn’t talking he would just sit back and beam at me.

I did ask him if he was scared. He said he doesn’t think about it much. He didn’t seem upset at all that I asked. I said I wished he didn’t have to go through all this, and he told me it’s just like having the flu all the time. Then we talked about football. And I told him a joke about St. Peter and Jesus and a crashing computer…I know this isn’t riveting reading but I feel like I need to document it somehow. We compared notes on side effects a little bit, we both had an aversion to coffee that passed after a few weeks. I think he actually enjoyed comparing experiences. The rest of the time we were just content to sit and hold hands. Got to spend some good time with Granny as well. She has lost a lot of weight (she must be in the negative numbers now…) but the aunts and uncles in town are keeping a close eye on her. She is being very strong.

Got to talk to Dad a bit about it too. I think he felt bad about talking to me, I know he worries about burdening me (He must get it from his dad). Honestly though it made me feel better to hear him get it out. If you can’t tell, I am big on getting things out in the open and discussing feelings. My family isn’t. However my “we hug now” policy I implemented several years ago seems to have worked pretty well so maybe I’ll eventually get them there 🙂
Came back and hosted a study group at my house. One of the girls took me up on my offer to let them practice injections on me. It’s tuesday so she did my procrit for me. She was so nervous but she did a great job! She was very afraid of hurting me. I hope being able to practice on a live person helped a bit. She said she might need to practice again, which would be great since I need outside motivation to keep my house clean (don’t really mind giving myself shots. I do mind dusting. The threat of potential embarrassment should help keep my coffee tables clear).
Been having insomnia issues again the past couple days so I had better try to wind down.